bl A long time ago, on a Usenet far, far away, Danny Sichel scribed: ^ > ... in Turtledove's _Toxic Spell Dump_, there's an offhand comment that > most vampires nowadays are Bosnian Muslims. > > ... in Mike Baron's _Badger_, there's the following passage: > > "... garlic, of course, and here's a crucifix in case he's Christian, a > mezuzah in case he's Jewish, a page from the Koran in case he's Muslim, > and if he's Zen Buddhist you're out of luck." > > There's also some interesting passages in Pratchett's _Carpe Jugulum_, > but those involve a LOT of spoilers. *ahem* :-) Here's a/the relevant posting from alt.books.pratchett (tidied up for viewing by myself). (No _direct_ spoilers here, since it antedated the book, but still...) : From: wald@theory.lcs.mit.edu (David Wald) : Subject: Vamp[I]res (was Re: shoeing un[I]corns) : Date: 09 Sep 1997 00:00:00 GMT : Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett,alt.books.pratchett : : Bill Welch writes: : : >Well, I came across this a year or so ago. Might be useful. I am : >also attaching the author, Brian Scearce's handy guide to using the : >list, which I have found invaluable. : > : >============ : >The vampire myth is widespread, and details vary from place to place. : >Here's a handy list, courtesy of Cecil Adams' _The Straight Dope_: : > : >--- clip and save --- : >VAMPIRE DISPOSAL METHODS, BY COUNTRY OF ORIGIN : > : >SPECIES COUNTRY APPROVED METHOD OF DISPOSAL : >Sampiro Albania Stake through heart : >Nachtzehrer Bavaria Place coin in mouth, decapitate with ax : >Ogoljen Bohemia Bury at crossroads : >Krvoijac Bulgaria Chain to grave with wild roses : >Kathakano Crete Boil head in vinegar : >Brukulaco Greece Cut off and burn head : >Vampir Hungary Stake through heart, nail through : >temple : >Dearg-dul Ireland Pile stones on grave : >Vryolakas Macedonia Pour boiling oil on, drive nail through : > navel : >Upier Poland Bury face downwards : >Gierach Prussia Put poppy seeds in grave : >Strigoiul Rumania Remove heart, cut in two; : > garlic in mouth, nail in head : >Vlkoslak Serbia Cut off toes, drive nail through neck : >Neuntoter Saxony Lemon in mouth : >Vampiro Spain No known remedy : >--- clip and save --- [...] : : It seems that the most reliable approach, then, is to start by : sticking a coin in a lemon (wasn't that an old Junior Science : experiment?) along with a clove of garlic. Shove the lemon in his : mouth; that should startle even a vampire. While he's trying to : extract the lemon, you should then drive nails through his navel and : temple, and cut out his heart. Cut heart in two, and shishkebob on a : stake. Remove head with an axe [1], boil head in vinegar, then roast : it at high heat. Remove toes. Dig grave at crossroads (this may : require special permits in your jurisdiction) and insert the corpse, : toes, heart and head, face downward. Arrange attractively. Bind them : all with wild roses, baste with boiling oil, and top with poppy seeds. : A stalk of celery is optional at this point. Expose to sunlight, then : cover with earth and top with stones. (This may impede traffic at a : crossroads.) Delicious. : : Finally, if in Spain, move. : : -David : : [1] If minors are watching, you can now wire a lightbulb between the : nail and the coin in the lemon and see if you can get it to glow, : thereby demonstrating a scientific principle and generating less : excitement than last year's Gameboy. ------------IN--MEMORIAM--PHOENICIS.CANTABRIGENSIS.ACADEMIAE.UK--------------- Don't look behind you; the lemmings are catching up.=8-0| Risus Sardonicus :-] Many are called but few are chosen... | (Michael S. Grant) Fewer still get to do the choosing. | M.S.Grant@hw.ac.uk -------------------< http://www.cee.hw.ac.uk/~msgrant/ >----------------------